Keith West
April 22, 1982–August 11th, 2020
To all of those who loved Keith,
On August 11th, 2020, we lost an amazing husband, son, fur daddy, brother, uncle, teacher, mentor, coach (and the list could go on.) We invite you to celebrate the amazing impact he had on each one of us. As Keith’s family, we are devastated by his loss. The combination of his intellect and kind heart made him easy to connect with and very hard to forget. After years of struggling with both anxiety and depression, Keith took his own life. His death is not a verdict on his life, his loved ones, or his love for everyone who loved him, but the product of a chronic illness. We are taking comfort in learning about all the wonderful ways he left his mark on this world. Please post photos and memories of him here as a way to support the community that grieves for him.
Thank you,
Erica (sister)
Caity (wife)
Ways to honor Keith
Here are a few ways we are honoring Keith’s memory:
Grants and Memorial Debate Tournaments in his name
Any new information will be shared on this page and the In Memory of Keith West Facebook page.
Grants:
The West family, in conjunction with the National Speech and Debate Association, has set up a memorial fund to honor Keith. To donate in Keith’s memory, please use the following link:
www.facebook.com/groups/1026547944444929/
Please join the Facebook page we created as well.
Boston Latin School Tribute Website:
https://blsargo.org/957/more/tributes/in-memory-of-keith-west-debate-coach/
Annual Keith West Memorial Debate Tournament:
Keith was a coach at Boston Latin School in Boston, MA. His former team and colleagues have created an annual debate tournament in his honor. The tournament seeks to honor Keith’s legacy by increasing accessibility, diversity and inclusion in speech and debate, promoting the educational value of speech and debate and by having FUN!
David B. Rosengard says:
Keith was a beloved friend, and it was my honour to know him for the better part of two decades.
He believed in the power of stories and games to help people be more decent humans—to themselves and each other.
In speech, he had the voice and gestures of a roman orator. In games, he combined the narrative art of a dedicated storyteller with the systems mastery of the most fiendish min-maxer. As a political actor, he fought the good fight.
As an RA, he saved lives.
As a friend, he enriched them.
He put the care of his canine companions ahead of near all else.
He was – and I think this is an appropriate appellation – an IRL Paladin. And of the best sort. Ever fighting for equity, justice, truth, and stuff (to borrow a Keithism).
I still have a running list of items I was planning to bounce off Keith’s sharp mind when next we spoke: rpgs I was hoping to get him in on, world building content, and on and on. Knowing this will not happen hurts like hell.
I keep writing this post, and rewriting, and unwriting, and on.
Like so much involved in reacting to the unexpected death someone close, this process of writing and unwriting seems simultaneously absolutely predictable and impossible to predict. Knowing stages of grief can never cover for experiencing stages of grief—awareness of what is coming is not the same as being ready for what comes.
There is always more to say; nothing that is said is ever sufficient.
And that, I reckon, is the gist. Grieving a friend like Keith does not stop, because the spaces where they connect to your life do not disappear.
(Further, and photos to follow.)
Liv says:
Keith with open arms was always welcoming, offering a hug, and listening attentively with care. When he laughed he would throw his head back and roar, and as David already mentioned his voice- that of an orator- boomed deeply and his words brought comfort. I found him always open and honest.
We took a great many strolls at odd hours between studying, stress, debate tournaments, and in those moments he would puzzle with many ideas and thoughts, at times great insights.
Even when things were “meh” there would be something greater than himself that he would feel passionate about and propel him to action to seek the justice.
I have no photos, but I can visualize him in his tan hued poncho walking around the campus giving a nod of the head when he saw someone he knew and flashing his side smile.
Always hard to lose a friend. He will be greatly missed and greatly remembered.
Daniel J Hall says:
Keith is a great inspiration to me. I didn’t know him exceptionally well, but he went above and beyond to help me try to create a debate team at the school I work at. I was looking forward to seeing him at many debate tournaments in the future. I asked the members of the Wilmington Library Great Decisions Discussion group to write up their memories of Keith, and will post them below. Our community adored Keith and he will be sorely missed.
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Keith was a truly kind person, a scholarly, smart, helpful soul. I loved the sessions we had and learned so much from him. He, at times, seemed like an endless font of knowledge. He was also nearly endlessly willing to volunteer his time to help me learn how to manage our group, to come into my school and host debate seminars, and help me try to launch a debate team at my school. That was just the sort of guy he was–generous, kind, selfless, and passionately curious.
Keith’s wife posted on facebook that he had struggled with his mental health for many years, and asked that we think “his death is not a verdict on his life, his loved ones, or his love for everyone who loved him, but the product of a chronic illness.” While this situation is terribly sad, I challenge you to be a little more like Keith in the future–a little kinder, a little more curious, a little more willing to help someone understand. When I think of a mentor, a teacher in the truest sense of the word, Keith is someone who will forever appear in my mind. I hope to honor his memory by embodying the values he held so dear.
I’ll miss my helpful, scholarly, kind and interesting friend. I know you will miss everything that Keith did and everything that he was. I will keep the group updated on any memorial services and would like to, with the help of the library, organize some way to honor him and let his loved ones know we are thinking about them during this difficult time.
Keith would want us to remember his lessons and to be teachers and helpers ourselves. If possible, I’d love for you to compose a memory of Keith–his lessons, his personality, his unique way of thinking–and send it to the rest of our group. I’d like to be able to show Keith’s family that Wilmington, one of his first Great Decisions locations, remembers him and has fond memories of what he created for us.
Again, sorry to be the bringer of such sad news. Take care of yourselves.
Daniel Hall
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Thank you for letting us know, Dan. Your eulogy is beautifully written, Dan, and it’s a tribute that will be difficult to top.
Keith’s skill at bringing divergent views to a common plateau (Eileen v Sheila!) cannot be praised enough. His sense of humor, his gracious and gentle poking fun at his Midwestern background, his enthusiasm for debate and for knowledge and reasoning, his ability to get right to the heart of each issue, his honest admissions when he wasn’t sure about a fact…all of these made him one of the most unforgettable people I’ve ever met. I feel bereft at his loss.
Eileen
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How tragic,
Keith was a true professional, his way of leading discussions, combined with his expertise and kindness was inspirational. How sad. Let us all be even more aware of the struggles that many face; be kind, even to those who we may not agree.
May God be good to his family,
Peace,
Frank Birmingham
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So sorry. Everyone’s loss.
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Thank you Dan for your beautifully written and incredibly heartfelt words regarding our friend Keith. As most of you know, not much renders me speechless but the news we received yesterday did exactly that.
I joined the Great Decisions group back in 2013 for it’s very first session. My youngest Julia had just been dropped off at college and I knew I would have more than a little spare time on my hands and wanted to fill it with something that would help me grow in this new chapter of my life. I walked into that first session and sat down and if I am being honest, I was a bit scared. I don’t think there was anyone I actually knew in that session at the time so I spent most of the first few sessions just listening and trying to figure out if this was the right place for me. I was clearly in the company of some very intelligent people and none more brilliant than our moderator Keith West.
My original goal was to find a place where I could learn from others why they felt differently about certain topics but was not looking for political banter. After a few meetings, I knew I had found the perfect venue to listen, discuss, respectfully disagree and learn to see all different sides of an issue. Keith had a way about him that perfectly controlled the room from getting political but allowing the opinions to be expressed freely. I also quickly learned that I was one of very few people that held more of a conservative viewpoint and in all honesty it got a little rough at times. Keith would encourage me to share my viewpoint when I felt a bit timid and often asked to speak with me after and took the time to make sure I was ok. His kindness was so genuine and sincere and so greatly appreciated.
Fast forward to the second session where we gained quite a few members and a few more sparks started to fly. Imagine my face when my children’s Social Studies teacher from middle school walked in and all I could think was “oh boy, I couldn’t even pass his Landscape Lingo quiz never mind discuss world Geology matters with him, this is going to be interesting”. A new woman joined who I had never met. We disagreed on absolutely everything, and I mean absolutely everything. Let’s just say we kept Keith on his toes. Six years later we still meet although under our new Current Events group, friendships have formed, opinions have softened and our door is open to all who choose to join us. I still can’t call Mr. Birmingham Frank although I promise to continue to try, I have learned so very much about the world, people, politics, humanity and our ongoing struggle to find peace in our world. And yes, that woman and I are now real friends and Facebook friends!
To say Keith West was at times “an endless font of knowledge” couldn’t possibly describe this incredible man any better. He was our moderator yes, but he grew to be our friend, our extremely brilliant friend that made us all just a bit better. His wealth of knowledge, his true compassion, his kindness and his sense of humor will be sorely missed. I am better for knowing him and will do my best to be a bit more like Keith as I continue my life’s journey.
Dan, I (we) would love to make a donation to whatever you and the library decide on. I am not sure if that new garden has room for a tree to be planted or something along those lines but a memory of Keith being rooted at the library for all to grow with sounds beautiful to me. I am holding all of you in my heart right now as I know this news was just devastating for all of us.
Oh how I will miss him,
Sheila Carter
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Dan,
You wrote a beautiful tribute to Keith that captures his spirit and his impact on those who knew him. Others from Great Decisions have written beautiful tributes as well. Little did I know, hiring Keith so many years ago to lead the Great Decision series that it would be the beginning of a longstanding relationship; one which would have such a positive impact on those who participated in his programs and one that would enrich the library in so many ways. Over the years, Keith began to be part of the WML extended team and was the first one thought of when the library had a need for a facilitator who could compassionately and deftly lead a discussion, especially on a sensitive topic. Keith treated others with kindness and dignity, and was always respectful of other’s opinions. His ability to bring people of differing opinions together was a gift. He will be missed greatly.
The library would like to honor Keith. I will be in touch.
Charlotte
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Dan, Thank you for informing us about this very sad news. I must have not been easy.
To all, As I read these tributes to Keith they all have the same underlying message of the type of person he was and I agree with all of you. I remember the first meeting I went to for Great Decisions very clearly. Sheila had been going for at least a year(maybe two) on her own and couldn’t make the next cycle in the group and suggested I go. I had heard many stories from Sheila when she would come home how great and knowledgeable the group was especially the moderator. I was very timid about going. I walked in and met Keith the first night. He couldn’t have been more welcoming and kind. As the meeting progressed, I sat there silently and listened how he handled the various individuals and opinions in the room and how much knowledge he had on the subject being discussed. I walked out that night thinking about how incredible Keith was as a person, moderator and the amount of knowledge he had. I went home and said to Sheila he has to be the smartest person I know and I still feel that way today. He was everything Sheila had described the past two years. I couldn’t wait to come back and learn more from him. So I kept coming back for years and was always excited to see Keith and learn. It is such a sad thing that we have lost a great person, mind and positive person in the world. He will be missed. Thank you Keith for opening my mind.
Mike
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Oh, no! Dan and Charlotte,
This is just devastating. Keith was so bright and challenging and a joy to meet with. It’s so hard to learn that he suffered in silence.
I’m so sad to get this news.
Martha
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I loved his discussion groups. He ensured everyone had an equal opportunity to share their thoughts. He coached anyone who was having difficulty expressing their ideas. I will miss him. Arnold
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We will miss you and remember you always, Keith.
Ambre says:
Not long after I’d started dating my high school boyfriend our group of friends were hanging out and Keith started quizzing me about The Simpsons. I explained that I hadn’t been a regular watcher of the show for several years, and Keith got this look of absolute horror on his face. He turned to Josh and exclaimed, “You said you could never date someone who didn’t love The Simpsons! Are you going to break up with her now???” I seemingly won his seal of
approval even without being a Simpsons super fan. The hours we spent prepping and strategizing for debate tournaments, and playing video games on Josh’s basement, dragging Keith to movies he definitely wouldn’t have chosen to watch…
It was probably sophomore year when I learned how truly hilarious Keith was. I can’t remember the joke he made, but I remember we were on the bus home from a debate tournament but I remember nearly falling off my seat because his joke was so funny and so unexpected.
Keith always seemed to be in his element when he performed. I remember when he was getting ready for band commander(?) tryouts and he was so proud of the salute he had worked out- and it was E L A B O R A T E. When people talk about how finding something you love can make you light up, they are describing Keith when he performed.
I’m ashamed to say that he and I only communicated a few times in the 20 years since we graduated from high school. I never stopped cheering for him. Our friendship in high school taught me a lot about myself, and I will always appreciate him for that. People weren’t always nice to Keith, and I hope I was never counted in that group. He tops the list as one of the kindest, intelligent and caring men I’ve ever been fortunate enough to call a friend.
I have a picture somewhere of Keith and a group of us girls from the debate team at a dance. I hope I can find it because I vividly remember the slightly bemused expression on Keith’s face being quintessential Keith.
Meredith says:
Keith was an amazing human. I got to know him initially through the debate team when I joined my freshman year. He made himself my unofficial debate mentor my sophomore year of high school and, while debate was never my strength, his expectations for my capacity to succeed were always high – sometimes annoyingly so. Bugging me to outline a speech, to REALLY think through my arguments and anticipate what the other side might come at me with (something Keith excelled at and I decidedly did not), relentlessly pushing me to explain why I wasn’t getting along with my best friend and finding my explanations lackluster. Though his methods were sometimes irritating, Keith listened equally as passionately as he debated a position. What a gift!
We also shared a love of music. That same year, we began an exchange of cds of our favorite musicals. After band rehearsal in the morning, we’d check in: “Do you know (this really amazing, spectacular musical)?!” If the answer was no, we’d bring the discs the next day with no time limit on the loan. Keith introduced me to ‘Miss Saigon’ and ‘Jekyll and Hyde.’ I introduced him to ‘The Secret Garden’ and ‘Pippin.’ We surprised each other when we both proactively brought ‘Les Miserables’ to exchange, not expecting the other to know it…which, in hindsight, was ridiculous! Keith shared that he really wanted to do a solo at the upcoming Show Choir home performance where transitions between pieces were filled with solos and small ensemble performances, but that he probably wouldn’t. When I asked why not, it became clear that nerves and lack of confidence played a big part in not even trying which really surprised me. My memory of the precise conversation is fuzzy. But he did sing ‘Empty Chairs at Empty Tables’ from Les Miserables because he worked up the courage to do it. That was a really big deal for him and left an impression on me.
Knowing Keith and being lucky enough to experience his kindness, sincerity, care, and friendship…I am so grateful for that. He showed me how to be a mentor to someone, how to really listen to someone else, how to find enough courage to face a personal challenge, how to set high expectations and encourage/straight-talk/bug/annoy someone to live up to them (all modes employed with the utmost care, of course), how to be a good friend. For the record, I don’t do any of these things nearly as well him. The world is a better, richer place for the mark he left and I’m so sorry he’s not here to see that.
Erica and Caity, I’m thinking of you and your family. I’m so sorry. I don’t know that I have any pictures, but I will look and share them if I do.
Kevin says:
Keith’s presence is indelibly linked in my memory to my time on the Ankeny High School debate team, and that seems to be the case for many of his classmates and friends. If not debate, then band or choir or swing choir or speech.
I regret not getting to know him better in the intervening years, and I’m sure we could have had some stimulating conversations. But his loss still means a great deal to many of us. He was present and up front in a formative period in our lives. He was brilliant and uncompromising. And therefore al part of our own past is now gone in some real sense.
My condolences go out to his wife and family, and perhaps it can be some small consolation to those closest to him that Keith made such a lasting impact on many lives.
Cindy Grubba says:
Keith wishing you a very happy heavenly birthday. Everyone is sharing such nice memories, praying for all of his family and friends.
Lynne says:
I went to high school with Keith and I’m so very sorry to hear of his passing. We spent most of our time in band and choir classes. I remember him as a kind soul, intelligent beyond his years, and someone who was always willing to listen. I’m so grateful to hear that he had such a wonderful, supportive family and I hope you all find comfort, surrounded by loved ones during this difficult time. Rest In Peace dear Keith. You will most certainly be missed.
Jill Hoftiezer says:
I remember living in the same neighborhood just a couple houses away from him as kids growing up. I remember asking him one day after the last day of school during our elementary days if he was excited school was over and ready for summer break and he said he was not (or something like that) because he actually really liked school. I remember being surprised by that conversation. He was always such a nice kid to be around. Sending so much sympathy to all his family and praying for your strength through this.
Tara Gentile says:
I remember first meeting Keith in middle school. We were involved in all of the same activities and were connected through band, choir, and drama club. I was usually a little silly and Keith would roll his eyes, but would laugh and play along. It was always a great feeling when you could get Keith to join in on the silliness or crack him up! I remember his passion for learning, his family, and a great debate! Keith had a great sense of humor and a kind heart. He will be missed by his classmates from Ankeny High School and friends in the community. Deepest sympathy for his wife, family, and close friends.
Bob Krause says:
I got to know Keith throughout middle school and high school as our paths crossed in choir, swing choir, and the ol’ lunch table. I wish our paths had crossed more after high school. He was a considerate man with a deep belief in seeking to understand before he sought to be understood. Like so many, I was silenced when informed of his passing. My thoughts go out to his family. I look forward to seeing how his life will be memorialized. Until then, I will look through pictures and share any I find. The first I’ll share is of our choir trip to New York circa 1998/1999. While not the best quality, you will find Keith approximately third from the right in the second row.
Josh Adams says:
I knew Keith well for a roughly eight year period starting in ~1994. Had early exposure in middle school. Closest in high school. Our structured contacts came mostly in band and debate. Periodic but trailing off contact in college years for both of us. Keith was a beloved friend to me. I’m kicking myself for not more actively pursuing our friendship in the intervening years. He helped me form ideas about what is worth pursuing in life, which social signals to observe and which to ignore, and how to struggle to find a constructive space in whatever one wants to define as their world. Keith had a presence that kept talking after he left a room. I’m trying to still listen and learn from him.
I wish I could remember exactly when I first met Keith, but some memories sadly fade. We had different social circles at first. Of course, these circles rapidly evolve for most young people, and we soon found ourselves spending innumerable evenings and weekends together. Here are a few unstructred vignettes.
While just now trying to dig through boxes with pictures, I layed hands on my last deck of Magic cards. Keith started me playing Magic. I can still see the first game Keith set up on my basement pool table with Dan Skinner, Michael Drazkiewicz, and others. I was an inwardly insecure kid who still thought that only the kool kidz could enjoy life. They showed me to not think so narrowly and to start to see through cliches.
I remember sleeping on Illinois gym floors next to Keith before a big marching band competition. Several of us, including Jared Feuerhelm and Joe Chongo, snuck off past curfew to talk in a lit cafeteria area into the small hours. I can see Keith still sweaty and exhilirated in our band room after a performance, disrobed down to the hokey white suspenders, talking at double speed with excitement.
I remember interminable hours in school buses on Midwestern highways coming back from debate tournaments. Keith would usually still be laser focused on debate tactics, counterfactuals to matches past, and it would take a little time to turn him around to talking about other topics. But he would, and then we’d all find that he was just as insightful on broader life as with academic debate. And as Ambre said, Keith was unassumingly hilarious.
My last time seeing Keith was in San Diego. We spend a day together. Ate at a sushi restaurant. Went to Black’s Beach. Keith was thriving with his philosphy studies at Lewis and Clark University. He seemed the most at ease that I’d ever seen him.
Most stark amongst his numerous positive qualities, Keith was profoundly earnest. At least in his early years, this set Keith up for a hard road. It even worried some of us, his friends, who sometimes took it as our duty to get him to ‘lighten up’. The more I live, the more I see this tension between the earnest and the savvy as a perpetual source of conflict. I have vacillated on this axis frequently. I’m not going to moralize on which is better, but I did learn from Keith that some people are their best and authentic selves when being earnest. We need their voices. Some hard roads are good roads.
To Erica, I’m so sorry that you don’t get more years with your brother. You were very good to him while it lasted. Your real bond showed through the occasional theater of sibling rivalry that we all sometimes act. To Caity, I’m sorry we never got to meet. I heard that Keith found a marvelous partner in you. All I can do is imagine that you matched his intellect, compassion, and sense of responsibility. That combination in Keith is nearly ummatched from what I’ve seen in this poor old world. Keith loving you says a lot.
Liz and Art says:
Not my photo (most likely Caity’s), but one saved from 2005 Facebook since it really felt like Keith to us. No words right now, apologies, they feel stoppered up.
Danny Lykansion says:
I am deeply saddened to hear of Keith’s passing. I had the pleasure of knowing Keith in a professional capacity for the past 3 years through the Chelmsford Public Library, where I booked him as a speaker for our ongoing Friday lecture series. He was always such a gentle and caring person, with a great sense of humor. Keith had seemingly endless patience when speaking to the public, and a real knack for breaking down and explaining complicated concepts in understandable ways. He was always an empathetic listener, drawing people with different viewpoints into his discussions. As a public library, we have a mission to enrich the lives of our community, and Keith’s efforts always did so in spades. Every single time I booked him for a lecture, I had people approach me afterwards to tell me how good he was and to excitedly ask me when I would be having him back. I wish I could still tell them what I always did: “As soon as I can.”
Kathryn Cryan-Hicks says:
I am so sad to hear the news of Keith’s passing. I always looked forward to Keith’s presentations at the Chelmsford Library where I ran programming before retiring in 2016. After my retirement, I made a point of attending his lectures. He was always able to bring such clarity to some of the world’s most complicated issues. Seeker of truth, expert researcher and teacher, Keith was able to talk about any issue. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the challenge of taking on new topics. His programs were always filled with people who knew they could count on Keith to make them think, to question and understand this crazy world a little better. Oh, how we could use his wisdom and gentle spirit now. My sincere sympathies to his family and friends.
Chan Shepard says:
I had the great pleasure of attending many of Keith’s lectures at my local library over the years. He was such a Gifted teacher; so knowledgeable, passionate and entertaining. His enthusiasm for the subject matter made it interesting. I tried not to miss any of his lectures.
I learned so much through his well-researched, thoughtful, and balanced work. He was able to synthesize a lot of material and make it accessible and relevant. When he moderated discussions, he showed us that there can be differing beliefs and opinions but that we could still remain respectful of one another.
He exemplified inclusiveness, openness, respect, and tolerance. In other words, he exemplified the “good stuff.”
Sincerely,
C. Shepard
Sara Dempster says:
I am so terribly sad to hear of Keith’s passing. I met Keith while working at the Chelmsford Public Library, and he was an incredible gift to our community. Not only did I have the pleasure of hosting a few of his lectures, but he also helped to connect me to some wonderful youth programmers to invite to our library. He never hesitated to lend a helping hand, and it was obvious what a selfless, giving person he was. I truly appreciated the opportunity to get to know him, and our community will feel his loss for a long time to come. He was a wonderful person and a force for positive change in our world. To Keith’s family and friends, you have my deepest sympathies.
Timothy C Averill says:
Here are the tributes from members of the Massachusetts Speech and Debate League:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1L-D558Zn149NXkrcj_5pLMdWHuGlPckeJ7hv09w36Sw/edit
Sheila McGinty Wogen says:
One year later and the pain is still deep. We miss you, Keith. I think of you daily and take solace knowing that you are at peace. Love you, cousin!
Ellena Prokopeas says:
I just heard the news, I am so sorry for your loss. I would see Keith at Nationals and he always was very nice. Such a huge loss to the Speech and Debate community.
To Keith’s wife, family and friends, you have my deepest sympathies. May he Rest in Peace.
Erica West Birkenholz says:
This weekend I flew to Boston on behalf of my parents and Caity to attend the 2nd Annual Keith West Memorial Speech and Debate Tournament at one of Keith’s schools, Boston Latin School. Watching the entire process at the place where he spent a lot of his time made me feel closer to Keith. His team and old friends/colleagues were incredibly kind. It reminded me how many lives he influenced. So many people shared impactful memories with me and even students and coaches who had never met him approached me to tell me how much they had heard about him through the debate circuit.
I was honored to present the Keith West Adjudication Award: Given to the judge that writes the most helpful and concise ballots. It was emotional and I had a hard time presenting the award, but it was worth it. Thank you for continuing to think of Keith and keep his memory and legacy alive. We sure do miss him and will continue to learn about all the ways he shaped so many other lives.